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I have not been nervous about being lead just on the first time, today, I just did not really think about it. We only had three doctors which was great and one is a new doctor so her schedule is 1/2 of a normal schedule should be, so I kind of caught a break. It turned out to be a shit show later in the day, because they just kept piling on with the inpatients. We had about 8 inpatients in the morning and then we had 10 inpatients in the afternoon, so that is a LOT! The four 10 hours shift girls ( including me) all left the department 45 minutes after the fact, but we did it together and no one was angry or mad or upset. We all learned a lot and really helped one another, it was a long exhausting day, but we did it. And I was lead, so I couldn’t have done so bad. I am exhausted and ate two portillos beefs for dinner, that alone tells you how hungry I am. The weather was in the 50s and it rained, so of course, I was worried about baby E, and of course my FD did NOT come over today to spend time with him, or to walk him. Sigh, I really needed her today and so of course I get fucking screwed. Poor baby E was home alone for 13 hours, that is NOT RIGHT FOR ANY DOG! I did come home, feed him, walk him (fog and all, even if it always reminds me of zombie’s hunting me) and then finally made myself dinner. I HATE leaving him alone for that long, so I have looked into a doggie daycare right by my house, but the hours are 7 am to 7pm which will not work for me, unless I get my FD to help me. And well you can see that trying to depend on my FD is not an option. I will have to talk to her about this. I mean I am paying her so why the fuck isn’t she doing her God Dam job! Doesn’t she understand that baby E cannot be alone for that long, and he needs to spend time with people. I mean I did not want to get a 10 hour a day job that was 45 minutes away, it is not optimal for my dog. I wish I could get him a second dog so he was not alone all day, but I do not trust him with a second dog without being supervised. So back to my FD and her being undependable, which is not a surprise, disappointing for sure, and upsetting. I so wish that someone, anyone, would be my safety net and take care of the things that are important to me, can’t anyone treat me the way I treat them? Can’t anyone FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!

Well besides feeling bad about baby E, the day was better than yesterday. I did not have the feel that something was off, I was too busy to be worried about anything else and I am too tired now to worry. I guess I will have to deal with the baby E situation and I sure hope things get better for my baby.

However, it was a very intense day at work, and I did very very very well, and that is something to be proud of.

Go Lead Tech J