Tags
alone, bipolar, child support, Chronic illness, daughters, divorce, going after your mentally ill spouse for child support, lettinggo, moving on, parenting, post bipolar divorce, recovery, recovery from a Narcissist relationship, schizophrenia, self-love, singlemom, toxic relationship, warriorspirit
So as more time goes by I can see him for what he is, but is it truth? or how much is my perception? When the pain is gone? when the longing for what is lost is gone, when the emotions are spent, and you are at a far enough distance to call it hind sight, is it true? It doesn’t feel wrong. I trust my intuition more so than ever, and I truly believe he is a narcissist and bipolar. I can look back over our 31 year relationship and see the manipulation from when I was 14 years old. How he took the best characteristics of me and twisted them to work for him. Played off old jealousies, gas lighted me, lied to me, and did what was the best for him, always, always every single time. Why am I again writing about him? I have decided to go after him for child support, he has so far obliged by sending me checks that have been pre-dated. He owes me thousands of dollars and I believe he has gotten his back payment from disability, which he says he did not get. I cannot trust him to tell me the truth. I gave him a deadline that stated I would pursue legal action as of March 1st if he didn’t start paying me. Well he has starting paying me, but I still haven’t gotten close to what is owed. So the honest part of me says, he is paying and not to go after him legally. BUT I don’t trust him, so therefore since he cannot tell me about his back payment, I should go after in in the court, so I have accountability and not just his word, which is not trusted. Logically that makes the most sense, and I will probably start the process tomorrow, or at least this weekend. Is that mean of me? or is it responsible? I have all these medical bills that are just getting worse and worse, so is this vindictive? or justified? and that is the problem with being a good person. You want to be good and not cause others strife, but he is a monster. He cannot be trusted, he lies, he has mask after mask after mask, and I shouldn’t have to suffer in financial strain while he doesn’t support the kids he is legally suppose to. So decisions, decisions, decisions, and doesn’t this just add more fuel to the fire for him to hate me? Give him more reason when he goes manic again to state that I ruined his life, cause according to him, it is all my fault. Typical narcissistic logic, he did nothing! and I am the reason he was jailed, etc, etc, etc,….( like I have that Power!) Sigh. So again he is depending on me to give him the benefit of the doubt, and again I will not. I guess the blog post has helped me to decide. I will file this weekend. Do I tell him? I don’t think so. Time will tell.