My job is switching insurances, and I have emailed human resources twice to get the plan and the prices, just so I would know what to expect. As you know my daughter has three auto immune diseases, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, and hashimoto’s hypothyroidism, so she has multiple doctor’s visits a month, and a monthly infusion which costs a shit ton of money. We do have the drug co-pay card, but there is no guarantee that that will be always available. So my premiums, my deductible, my co-pay and fucking co-insurance (which is bullshit) are very important in my life. In fact my health insurance probably is my biggest bill, even larger that my home equity loan payment. SO you can see my concern. Today was the day that we got our new insurance plan, and it SUCKS! SUCKS! Just for an employee and child it is 1100.00 a month, this comes with a deductible of 1,500 for an individual and a family deductible which I think will be applied to me of 3000. Also a pharmacy deductible of 50/100, but here is the kicker. The co-insurance in network is 70%! So I have to pay 70% of all bills AFTER The deductible is paid until my out of pocket maximum. Office visits have a co-pay, and emergency room visits are 200, and again a 70% co-insurance after the deductible. AND THIS IS NOT INCLUDING DENTAL, OR VISION, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! So people went back and forth at work arguing if we pay 30% after the deductible or do we pay 70% after the deductible. And no one could tell me, which one was correct. Also I emailed my HR department to ask questions and she referred me to the email she sent, and the contact information. So I search thru the million of papers to find the contact information, and guess what, it says to call M-F 8:30 to 5:00pm for customer service. SURE, sure, sure, that is easy, I will just punch out of my job, while I am the only tech at every office I am at, and call this new insurance to find out what exactly are my benefits. And did I tell you that this policy is good from 1/1/22 – 4/30/22, and that the deductible will reset in May 1 2022, because that is THIS NEW INSURANCES calendar year! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!! I am seeing red, I am so angry, because of course I have been asking for weeks for this information and it is released on 12/15/21 in the afternoon? I cannot afford this, but I need to have my daughter insured, so I jump on the Obamacare website, and fill out some information, see if I am eligible, apply and wait for acceptance. But wait it gets fucking better. DECEMBER 15 IS THE LAST DAY TO APPLY FOR OBAMACARE IN ORDER TO BE COVERED FOR A 01/01/2022 START DATE. Yup that is right so now I have to decide at this moment, to get my own insurance or take the risk on my fucking companies policy. So pay 1100.00 a month for 119 days to meet a deductible of 3K, with then a 70% co-insurance until my out of pocket maximum which I couldn’t find in the paper work. Or not get my daughter insurance, or self pay, WTF. I had my daughter apply on the obamacare website, she got in, became eligible, and I had her pick a plan that contained her RA doctor, with a deductible of 1900, but it is an HMO, and it is only 407.18 dollars a month. Besides it being an HMO which can be a problem on it’s own, at least her RA doctor is covered, and it is cheaper than 1100.00 per month. I may elect to take the employee insurance for myself, because my company does pay for 50% of the employee’s insurance. That will be good, but I do need breast surgery, so that will be fun. I may wait until May to see if this is the new insurance is the same as this shit insurance, and maybe then buy some on the marketplace? if that is an option? or who knows? I just cannot believe the fucking lack of communication with this workplace, and they were shopping around for some good policies and THIS IS WHAT THEY COME UP WITH? REALLY???? Fucking bullshit
What I have realized after this insurance nightmare, the work party mishap, I did not go because of a misunderstanding (well not really) of my daughter not getting my medicine for my raging UTI and having diarrhea since Nov 23 which is still happening today, so WTF. I had to leave my work which I left late at 5:40 pm to get to the pharmacy by 7 pm to get my meds. So by the time I got my meds and got home it was 8 pm and then you want me to drive all the way back to work, to go to a work party? Yeah NO. Although I did have a great dress and some super cute boots, with a good hair/make up day. So sigh, I missed the party and was in pain all night. I started the meds and felt better in two days. Diarrhea has not left though so that sucks. And I got shit from everyone at work, asking where was I? So I can blame that on my daughter. and Then she gave me shit about the Christmas Day Traditional Movie, so basically we fought and I told her I am not paying for her nails or hair for Christmas Day. And then she gave me shit about doing the insurance today. I basically had to call her during work hours, yell at her, tell her that if she does not apply and get insurance today she will not have insurance as of 1/1/22. W.T.F. I go through all this fucking stress for her to do this for her, and she just fucking shits on me. I could have just signed up for insurance for me and me alone, and fucked her over. My daughter does NOT appreciate me, she does NOT help me, she does NOT respect me or what I do for her. It is infuriating, and I am so mad at her. I mean why should I still be helping her? She does not check on me, she does not suggest we hang out, all she does is complain to me, and yell at me. Time to pull away from her as well.
Change, I do not deal with with change, at all. It floors me, I cannot adjust, I cannot be flexible, I cannot adapt and I use to be so good at it. Now I am just a fucking mess, a loser with no friends, no lovers, no hope, no life. I am useless and pointless. It is getting harder and harder to find reasons to stay alive. Especially when my children, who were my reason for living, are making my life harder.
Fuck Change, I really really really need help.
I contacted my old therapist and signed up for counseling again, but with this new insurance who knows how much I will have to pay. Sigh. Can I just go away and never come back? Can someone for once, for once, for someone for once please take care of me? and HELP ME?